Our reality is created by relationships. We perceive things only because of their contrast to other things. One of the most challenging parts of life is finding balance in our relationships with each other.
Working with social prey animals like horses can develop two very oppositional skill sets in how humans relate with another. One of which is about control. And the other is about connection.
In fact, modern-day equestrianism can be divided into two parts. First, there's the more conventional performance-based horsemanship, which looks to gain the horse's obedience to achieve compliance or optimal performance.
... And then there's Relationship-based Horsemanship. Relationship-based horsemanship (RBH) is the practice and process of finding and preserving balance in the horse-human relationship. This differentiation is super important because of a fundamental element that separates these two variations of horsemanship.
One enhances the ego …
… and the other diminishes it.
In performance-based horsemanship, we seek outward validation for our work. It's an external experience emphasizing what the horse and human can do together. Relationship-based horsemanship, on the other hand, is an internal experience emphasizing what the horse and human feel together. Both performance and relationship-based horsemanship may have their place in the horse world right now, but make no mistake, they are very different.
Relationship-based horsemanship is art, not sport. It's about the details and nuances that often go unnoticed when we have any agenda other than building true connection with the horse. Performance becomes increasingly less relevant as we go deeper. And although performance is not our objective, it will come regardless because when the horse is engaged in this way they are as responsive to us as we are to them. This takes the partnership to a whole new level because it's authentic. We don't just appear to be in harmony we truly are. Our energies are resonating …
and not just physically. We're connecting with them mentally and emotionally as well. In this sense, relationship-based horsemanship can also be defined as the process of obtaining resonance with the horse. This requires dedicated focus and genuine intentions. We look to gain the admiration of the horse. Not human spectators or followers as a result of getting the horse to do things for us.
Our reason for practicing relationship-based horsemanship is to develop deep authentic bonds with our horses where they bind to us by choice while still respecting our boundaries. This is an intrinsically motivating practice in mindfulness where we remain continuously aware of how the horses feel about us.
We need to ask ourselves ... how does the horse actually feel about me? Does he really want to do the things I'm asking him to do? Has he even given me his consent to touch him? Am I paying attention to what he's trying to tell me? Is he worried? Am I causing him discomfort or pain? Is he actually relaxed ... or is he shut down?
... Or is he seeking my attention? Is he interested and curious? Is he connected? Engaged? Relationship-based horsemanship is about understanding these things and finding ways to encourage and inspire the horse to work with us. Not because he thinks he has to … but because he wants to.
Relationship-based horsemanship is a discipline in understanding relationships. It requires us to listen to the energies around and understand our effects. This kind of horsemanship is an act of love and devotion. It's an ongoing lesson in maintaining peace. We're in constant pursuit of perspective ... because this is the only way to achieve true emotional and energetic connection with horses. The processes involved unveil who we really are, as the energy we project outward is reflected back to us through the horse's responses. In this way our horsemanship can become a path for immense inner growth if our intentions remain pure.
Although RBH prioritizes the emotional well-being of the horses it's much more than simply befriending a horse. It's important to understand that RBH is not pleasure riding. It's not natural horsemanship. It's not equine-assisted learning and it's not R+ training. It's so much more than any of these things and although it may encompass these areas of equestrianism it cannot be defined by them.
Relationship-based horsemanship is about balance It's a discipline for both the human and the horse, in which the horses becomes more cognitive … the human becomes more receptive. Both become more conscious.
Humans are influential by Nature. We are doers. Horses are feelers. To practice relationship-based horsemanship we must train ourselves to feel for the horse. We have to feel, listen, and observe deeply so we can recognize when and how we need to respond to the horse as we interact with him.
We use energy and space to communicate with him intuitively by working on whatever it takes in the moment to keep him calm and cognitive. We learn the importance of inaction and why it's necessary to maintain awareness of our controlling tendencies. We want the horse to feel it's okay to communicate with us. We encourage cooperative expression and sensibility, rather than submission. The horse must understand that he has choices. This helps him relax and it encourages his desire to participate by allowing and empowering him to use his mind. In RBH we do not train the horse we educate him. We also condition ourselves to become more conscious of his perspective.
The horses help us become more conscious of how subtle energy shapes our relationships and reality.
We learn to compromise, adapt, listen, and respond to our world intuitively. We become centered, fluid, efficient, intentional, and authentically kind-hearted. We become inspired and begin to move in directions that continue to expand our hearts. These qualities cross over into our everyday lives, and our simple awareness of how such profound change can result from such subtle inner awareness can be instantly transformational. In this way, these animals can be extraordinary spiritual guides
Relationship-based horsemanship is a direct mutually beneficial experience between horses and humans. We are helping the horse expand his consciousness and by doing this we actually expand ours as well.
But our intentions must remain genuine. We have to be able to notice our effects, We have to be able to see perspective, and we have to care.
We need to reimagine our horsemanship and use it as an opportunity for inner growth. There are better ways to be with our horses. All you have to do is prioritize the connection. The horse will take you the rest of the way. And he will thank you in deeper ways than you can imagine.
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